July 10th, 1763

I should have found an excuse not to have to give my Sunday School class today. I had no sleep at all last night and almost slept in during service.
It was strange to be alone again at Leyland. And having dinner with Lord C without any other companions was nerve-wracking to no end. We talked just a little and only about the most trivial things imaginable. Then he left for his library, telling me not to bother with tea. I went for the Music Room, playing my harp. But my restless fingers couldn’t get to any notable melody. So I decided to go to bed and left the room towards the backstairs. There was Lord C, leaning against the door frame and obviously listening to my musical attempts. He had his eyes closed and didn’t noticed me opening the door. I actually walked into him and in this instant he caught me, both his hands on my hips. First he had his head bent and rested his forehead against mine, then he kissed it and left me standing there… What a horrible night it was. I can’t remember my dreams, but when I finally found some rest it already dawned and it was time to get up for service.

In the small parlour of the charity schools headmistress’s apartment I sat with my young pupils eagerly working on their pockets. – I have no clue why those girls like to do that sort of craft, for I myself would rather learn something more important to earn my future living. But the ladies around here are eager to ‘use’ the supply of girls and boys of poor farmers as their future servants, training them from childhood to fit their needs...

When I came back home I found a letter from Harriet, announcing her departure from *** Park. I wish she had stayed so I could talk with ‘someone’.