August 21st, 1763

My wife's birthday.

It is the first important date in our marriage and we are neither at home nor do I have a present for her. It would have been the ultimate chance to give her some token. But we are imprisoned here and with a cause I wish to forget. I will send Elliott to Carlisle tomorrow to ... No that will not do! I will go myself and get her some diamond pins for her cap! But she doesn't wear a cap... But nonetheless, she might have use for it to perch it into her hair... her wonderful hair... And a matching necklace or a cross or some ear-rings. I know she can wear snaps! And maybe a book. Something to cheer her up, to entertain her! I will go to Carlisle tomorrow and I shall ask Jeremiah to accompany me. Or rather Clive?

It is so late now. I should sleep, I suppose. If I could just find it! She's next door, right next door and so far away it seems.

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August 20th, 1763

When I watched my husband today I had to think of the first time I met him.
When Frederick sought out my father to ask for my hand in marriage, he had in fact pursued this plan for a long while. When my brother got acquainted with him on a friends house party that last summer, Frederick informed him of being in search of a wife. My brother, who loves me dearly, thought him an adequate fellow to allow him curting me during the season. I stayed in town at my sister's house then and was chaperoned by Patsy and Violet in turns until my parents joined us there. It was my second season and my family was determined to dispose of me in a suitable and promising marriage. Shortly after their arrival, my brother and his family, too, joined us in town and brought with them, their new friend Frederick Cartwright. I remember the introduction well. My family was impressed by his person and all his character according to my brother's account of Lord Cartwright's conduct. I tried to make the best of it and even endeavoured to like him (in the beginning). But as we went about all the season's pleasures together, he aquired a quite different attitude towards my person. When we were less watched, after about two weeks, he turned saucy and I didn't like his conduct. He attempted to conceal his flirting about, but I soon discovered that his character was vain and he was very fond of the admiration of the female sex. I think he did it on purpose and wanted me to know. But in front of my family he was the perfect lover and my father soon accepted his proposal. Mother could not in the least understand my wish to break off the acquaintance and it was but too late when they told me about the upcoming engagement.
It was at a ball, when I was introduced by Lord Frederick to his younger brother, an army officer just returned from Quebec, that the engagement was made public and without my [approval]. After we went home I wanted to speak to my father, but he was stern in his decision and told me it was the best offer I could get and he didn't want and could afford another season. It was a hot argument and my mother, always interrupting, tried to persuade me to be happy about the positive outcome of the season. I had no idea why I should be married off so quickly and without any chance to decide on my own. I had this possibility the season before and though I rejected an offer by a gentleman of our immediate neighbourhood (to the utmost embarrassment of my parents), it hit me like a shock that they wanted to get rid of me. All seemed quite strange.

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August 19th, 1763

I cannot believe what my eyes show me! My brother and my husband are becoming friends. Or have become already. Something like that might occur between their sex when on a crusade against another male and perhaps for the virtue of some lady in distress, I believe. The funny thing is, they often stay friends thereafter. It is not like that with ladies. Not very often at least. And I for my part, have witnessed something different:

When I had to endure my first season in town, I had a friend coming from Bath who told me of her best friend and how they love each other so dearly, sharing any secret and would never have come anything between them. Well, until there came that gentleman from Essex; a very good looking fellow with an even more handsome purse and estate. - I never enjoyed a play in theatre better than this spectacle between sister-like ladies of the ton and their husband-hunting-war against each other. Unfortunately he went off to marry someone else entirely and my friend and her temporary enemy swore never to look at a man again - for friendship's sake. It lasted until the next season and they are still unmarried.

Musing about this, a theory is forming in my mind, that women are very strange characters when it comes to men. Jeremiah and Lord C kept me wondering about all this today.

We went for a drive around the estate. It was a nice outing and strangely not in the least awkward for any of us. It felt like we were brothers and sisters enjoying a ride through the park. Being unguarded the first time we set foot on my father's estate, we could discuss the problems at hand more freely. So I got to know that Mr Fairweather sr. already begged Clive's sincere pardon for having accused him of any knowledge or accompli[ce]. And that having brought Max back to his family wasn't the end of my husband's and my brother's involvement in this affair. I wasn't however satisfied in my curiosity about this Sarah, who vouched having been married to Frederick. Lord C only stated that he doubts it and thinks Max is hiding more information than he should...

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August 17th, 1763

After Mrs F blurted out the 'whole truth' or rather the unwelcome details of her son's dealings with my brother and his lover, I had a discussion with Clive, Jeremiah, Mr P and Mr F. We are to engage our lawyers in town to pursue the affair and to get proof of a marriage. Both fathers are to go to London and accompanied by Jeremiah, they want to have a secret look on the infamous Sarah.
It is important to act without attracting attention. Fred's lover has not yet made any claims for her daughter and according to Max she is not aware of her lover's fortune and position in society. I daresay, if Fred was married to her, he intended to keep her in the dark about his person and marry Emmeline nonetheless. Mr P is beside himself and had to be calmed by his son, who accuses himself for not having intervened in the whole engagement procedure. My father-in-law now told me, that Emmeline had objected to this engagement from the start, of which I'm glad to know.

She repeatedly told me, she was unsure of his conduct and didn't want to marry him.

If he only had listened to her wishes and acquiesced to bring her back home. Nothing embarrassing like being the fiancée of a demised gentleman would have happened to her. And she might have been happier at Wortham without this marriage being forced upon her. 'Cause nothing else it is (to her). She must think herself entrapped since she escaped my brother. And I'm guilty...

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August 15th, 1763

It was quite late when we arrived at Wortham, Jeremiah had his own horse brought to Cresford and rode in front of us. We were not only awaited by the Fairweathers but also, unfortunately, by the other Porters. I dreaded the moment when we would meet my parents, and I had no notion that they would wait for us at the Fairweather's house.
Due to the unusual cause of this meeting and the curiosity of it's origins and turn-outs, they left me in peace, were civil and all the dark clouds seemed to have been above Maxwell. It was noisy in Mr F's library and we ladies were discussing the possible connexions - to no avail.

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August 14th, 1763

 

Morning - when I woke up, the weather promised our almost immediate departure from Brackenthwaite. I longed to get on and towards Cresford. Harriet must be craving for her Clive. I am curious how she will proceed with her brother. Jeremiah instead understood it to remind me of the meeting with the rest of my family. I haven't thought of that at all. All I had thought of was the mystery about Harriet's family. Now I am anxious. I do not wish to face them. Not entirely because I haven't answered their letters, but being a guest in their house won't make it easier to run from their curiosity and constant inquiries after my marriage life. Oh, my Lord! Mrs P is with child again and it will make her an insufferable companion! - I have to persuade Lord C to stay somewhere else. But where!? Or to leave posthaste?

The carriage is ready, we're leaving.

Night - It was somewhat relieving to finally reunited at Cresford. The journey thither was so quite and tense, that I longed for fresh air and a walk. Harriet literally jumped into Mr O's arms and was clearly happy to have her husband back without any duel with her brother. I wasn't sure about an upcoming duel between her and Maxwell, but the outcome wouldn't be that surprising. My dear friend tortured her brother with her eyes. I wouldn't pity him anyway.

I had a room next to Lord C, who very eagerly helped me out of the carriage. After I had changed we all met again for dinner, but I wasn't in the mood for much talking. There weren't many details about what happened between the families that I didn't knew yet. The only thing I was longing for was exercise. - Jeremiah looked after Maxwell, and Lord C and I took the opportunity for a walk with the Osbertons. They were a bit behind us; I must have been quite fast. Even Lord C, though quiet, had not expected this briskness.

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August 14th, 1763

Alas, they have come. And indeed it was the weather which delayed their journey and had them imprisoned at Brackenthwaite for three days.

Mr F was ashamed to face his sister who punished him with pointed remarks and her indifference. She literally flew into her husbands arms when the ladies alighted form their coach and my heart skipped a beat, when Emmeline got out, smiled at me and gave me her hand. I sincerely hope I greeted her the way I intended it to be, but she didn't talk much at dinner today.

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August 13th, 1763

On arriving at Cresford Inn, I couldn't get any information of the whereabouts of J, Mrs O and Emmeline. The inn keeper told me of some stormy nights and that they were probably delayed on their way hither. I'm worried. It is past ten and they wouldn't be on any road at this time of night. I will have to be content to wait until the morning and if they're not here by luncheon, I'm going to check any inn on the road to Penrith.

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August 12th, 1763

Fortunately I had the good sense of taking my journal with me on this mission. And unfortunately this affair must be solved discretely, otherwise I would have asked Littledale for his help. But in this case it is Mr O who decides about the procedure.

I am glad we found Mr. Fairweather and I am also looking forward to be home again (in the near future). Going to Wortham is not actually an event I am looking forward to; but at least we have Jeremiah on our side. It is Emmeline I am worried about, as she is not even inclined to write to her family and the letters I receive on her account are not very assuring of the Porter's benevolence towards us; or me, in this case. - I wouldn't dream of isolating her from her family and J supports her attitude of being somewhat angry with them. Alas, he is now convinced of my worth being her husband, which hadn't been so at the beginning. I can understand his prejudices, as my brother was not a very gentlemanly fellow. I won't give up hope, that my wife will come to that conclusion herself one day...

We will reach Cresford tomorrow night and Mr O and I will have Jeremiah to support us with Mr F, who becomes more and more nervous by getting closer to Wortham. Mr O is a bit anxious of Maxwell trying to flee, but I think as a former soldier I will just knock him unconscious until we're there. I want this to be over and I want to see my wife again. It is strange to be away from her, though we're not exactly together at home. She took over her part as mistress of our house and that.............................. well, I'm beginning to over-estimate what I hope will come out in the end...

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August 10th, 1763

We arrived at Brackenthwaite and wanted to take some luncheon and have the horses rest for while, when we were surprised by a heavy thunderstorm. It was uncommonly hot since last week and it was conceivable that it was to rain some time; but it poured down horribly and it was very stormy indeed. It didn't stop for hours and we had no other possibility than to while away the time inside the inn. We then arranged to stay for the night, as did many other travellers. Though our attempted destination was Cresford to meet the other gentlemen, we acquiesced ourselves into our lot. - It is the same inn, Lord C and I stopped at after our wedding and now we would have stayed there on our way back to Wortham. I wonder what it would have been like. Confined to this establishment we couldn't even send word there and inform them when they arrive. But we hope to continue our journey on the morrow and we'll try to catch them there at about midday.
Later today we had tea and some biscuits. - Why is it, one is always eating when bored or condemned to do nothing? - We had nothing with us to seriously occupy ourselves; not a book or cards or anything else. There wasn't any afternoon I can remember, when I was last so bored. After a while we had no topic of conversation which lead us, or better to say Jeremiah, around what I was really wanting to talk about and subsequently we felt into silence; which was again very awkward. But alas my Harriet had the good idea of engaging me into plans to go to Bath this summer and Jeremiah thought it a wonderful idea. I discretely tried to talk him out of his fast idea of joining us there with his family. Please! No summer holiday with Mrs P!!!

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August 9th, 1763

Jeremiah arrived today on horseback. He vouched he stopped at an Inn last night and is quite well, but he is doubtless exhausted. At first it was awkward to have him at our home, but after he had some luncheon and refreshed himself for a while upstairs, he joined me in the music room and chatted eagerly about our family back home, his little son and annoying wife. He seriously confessed his dislike on her temper when with child. Outrageous! But he's my brother, my dear Jeremiah... And on the other hand I wondered why he is annoyed with her moods only when pregnant; I think her insufferable all the time.

Mama and Papa are well; that I know, I get regular accounts on that (together with endless inquiries on my 'state'). J and Mrs P visited Patsy, but stayed not for long, as it was unbearably noisy and chaotic. He hadn't seen Violet since I married and can only suppose her well and very occupied with partying at friend's houses here and there and staying at all possible fashionable places all over the country.

He finally went on to the topic most interesting to me: what they were achieving in town and Harmondsworth. When they finally encountered Harriet's brother, they were surprised to find him in utterly unexpected circumstances. J didn' t give me details on how exactly unexpected they were but asked me to be patient as my husband wanted to - how did he put it? - protect me. Now I am surprised. What have I to do with it to need protection!? He is Harriet's brother and I would think her and her family the first to be affected by his actions and conduct... Jeremiah is not very gifted in distracting my curiosity. His tale had quite the opposite effect. But I'll be tame and wait for Lord C to explain it once and for all and after that, I want:

1) return home as soon as possible
2) don't waste any thought on Frederick and Max any more and
3) making efforts in attaining my husband's friendship

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August 6th, 1763

We are preparing to go to Wortham. I had a letter from my brother informing me, that he will come to Leyland and accompany us there. Lord C and Clive will meet us at Cresford and from there we will go together. It is most mysterious as neither Jeremiah nor Harriet told me what all the stealthiness is about. I know when someone is keeping something from me. They act strange and it is so obvious they are hiding important information. But I am not yet worried. They are all well and they come together. So no duel between Max and Lord C or Clive. We all will be reunited and all will be well.

The only thing I am not looking forward is to see my family again. They surely will besiege me with thousand inappropriate questions!

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Letter to Harriet

The Five Bells, Harmondsworth Village

July 30th

My darling Harriet,

three days we have been here and after some misinterpreted directions, we found your brother and are now negotiating with him his return to your family and him issuing a statement what happened, after which we will leave him with your father to unravel their problems.

I miss you and it will take us some days to come to Cumberland. I will send you notice on time to meet us, so we can go to Wortham together.

I don't know how much I should tell you so far; everything is quite a mess and scandalous. I beg you, as does Lord Cartwright, not to consign anything to her Ladyship until we know the whole story and can prevent anything becoming public knowledge.

When we came to the village, we first went to the wrong house, presuming your brother to stay with a respectable family of somehow his own state. But no one at the Manor Farm had any idea of who Max was and we returned to the Inn.
Lord Cartwright and Mr. Porter were discussing further steps with Mr. Tredwell, when I went to the shop across the road to buy some writing supplies (I forgot mine in town, being muddleheaded as usual). There I heard a maid asking for something her master had ordered and how she had called him Mr. Maxwell. I pretended to know him and told her what a surprise it was to find him here as I was on my way to town. She was quite an innocent creature and asked me, if my friend was really Mr. Fred Maxwell. - Darling, I am dumb-funded at his impertinence to change his name so abominably.
I had a boy in front of the shop running to call for my friends to meet me at the address the girl had given me. I didn't want to lose time and immediately went with her.
We came to a halt in front of a small, but respectable looking house and the maid let me in to the tiny hall. Not two minutes later I was to enter a salon and stood in front of your brother, holding an infant.
Do not be alarmed, my dear! Though he was speechless and stared at me changing colours instantaneously, nothing worthwhile happened, as the other gentlemen knocked and were let in forthwith. - After some minutes of calming down the strange situation and the woman presumably mistress of that house ordering tea (from the same simple-hearted maid), we learned the baby-girl wasn't your brother's child. But it is worse actually, my love, as it is probably Frederick's and Tredwell post-haste went to find out if they were really married, like the mother vouched (and your brother!)...

Well, my darling, you see now, how important it is not to say a word yet to Lady C. - I will write to you very soon and look forward to embrace you again.

Your loving husband,
CO

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July 29th, 1763

When I went down for breakfast, Mr Brittles just brought the mail.
Until that moment, I hadn't realized how I waited for word from my husband. It was a heavy envelope & when I opened it, I knew why: Lord C had sent his letter together with that of Clive to Harriet in one package. He then explained to me, they wanted to be sure we get them at the same time. Leaving tea and rolls aside, we read our letters at once.

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July 24th, 1763

I dreamt of my husband last night.
It was dawn, when I woke with a start. First I couldn't make out what had startled me so. But slowly I remembered the dream and had to sit up straight to digest it.

After breakfast, H and I went into the shrubbery to relish the cherries. I have some very sweet at the moment, as Isaac brought them in after dinner. I would have Mrs Redbourn bake a cherry pie (I still should ask her), but as Lord C isn't here to enjoy it; well, they might return in time for the rest of the fruits to be due.
I am more calmed down now, but in the shrubbery with H analysing my changed disposition towards my husband, I was partly surprised by her accurate and deep observations and, though distracted by the sweet gooseberries, a bit annoyed at myself. It is true, I changed consiberably during Hs absence, which is an unsignificant time frame anyway. But she is my friend and she was right. maybe H didn't expect me to overcome my stubbornness and follow her advice so fast and so soon.

I am glad you decided to see him what he is: your husband, your partner in life, Emmeline. Trust him to be a very good one too. He is not like his brother. Your own dear Jeremiah said so.

I wish I could talk to my brother; I wish, he could be here, but more so I wish him to be with Clive and Lord C in London helping them.

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July 16th, 1763

I had the breakfast brought up into my parlour, so that Harriet and I had time to discuss what troubled us most and our husbands were in Lord C's study anyway. Brittles informed me that they are planning to leave for London and H and I knew they want to seek out Max.
The men of course wouldn't inform us about any details, and though we are affected, they will defend their and our honour, in a gentlemanly way...

Despite that, I would like to know what exactly my father knew about all of that mess. He must be roughly informed about something. Jeremiah knows! I begin to suspect anything!

night
Again, after we all went to our chambers, my husband sought me out in my room. He announced their departure at dawn the following morning and their wish not to lose one minute in investigating how far Max and Fred went in their perfidiously game. He walked about my bedroom, quite nervous, but probably not as nervous as I was.
I had no idea about what I was more anxious: he maybe kissing me again, or... maybe not... and the silly thought of asking him to say goodbye tomorrow morning and some strange inner voice thinking for whatever reason I would think that...
Thinking this, doing that, he took the decision from me in any case and before he left the room he took my hands in his and closing them tightly in front of his chest: I got kissed on my forehead and was mumbled a 'good night'. At that precise moment, I wished, he had chosen my lips for it, but he hadn't.

What a strange wish anyway...

Now I am a bit relieved to be alone again, though I don't think of sleeping, ever sleeping again...

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July 15th, 1763

I haven't slept so well for a long time and I awoke quite contentedly this morning. The post didn't bring any news from Harriet, but I was sure she must get my letter today or tomorrow morning at the latest. Still, I was uneasy when and when Lord C came to the breakfast parlour (from his study, I suppose. He's always up so very early...), he sensed my mood and lingered a bit too long over my hand (for my taste). Still holding it, he smiled encouraging.

But one shouldn't halloo 'til you're out of the wood!

Oh, why is all coming down on me at once!? Still having Harriet's disturbing words in my head, no clue what to do about it actively and finally about starting to like my own husband, he accomplishes to wreck my nerves even more.

My dear,
my Emmeline...
What is the matter with you!? You never confide in me, never let me know what you think.
Please, talk to me, I beg you!

Oh my good Lord, why is it always so hard!? Especially when it only began to become easier!? I'm acting so foolishly and probably hurt him all the time. Even when I want to safe him any trouble and grief. What was I to do? How could I get out of this dilemma?
I really don't like how he always looks at me with his hazelnut eyes. It is very unfair! How shall I keep the thread of my thoughts intact when he distracts me like this!?

So I told him, I was expecting an important letter from my dear friend. [the following I have to write Harriet forthwith!] BECAUSE: he, my ever well informed husband, explained to me, he too, got a letter from our friends, from Mr. O more accurately and he had sent him an answer with the accompanying messenger. Lord C went to get it for me to read:

Cresford Inn, Wortham, July 11th

Dear Sir,
as a friend I would like to inform you about the late happenings at Wortham Hall in connection to my dear wife's family at -Park. You may wonder why this should effect you and your family, but the matter is a bit complicated and even more delicate.
I came to the knowledge of these circumstances only through a private conversation with your brother-in-law, Mr. Porter. But I have to relate to you the precedent happenings at my wife's former home to explain to you the difficult situation at hand.
When we left your kind hospitality to pay a visit to my family-in-law, we were not greeted with much civility nor respect at our arrival. My father-in-law literally banished us from his grounds and within the same breath accused not only us, but also you, Sir, your kind wife and her family of causing the imminent ruin of his family. As we had no idea what must have happened and had to leave at once (my poor wife thunderstruck, speechless and near bursting into tears), we decided to take lodgings at Cresford Inn and visited the Porters the following day.
Before we left without any more explanations, as they vouched not to have any idea what it was all about and hadn't spoken to the Fairweathers for quite a long time (whoever knows why!?), I nearly ran into your brother-in-law, who took me aside and asked me meet again at the Inn. There he could bring some light into this mess and told me that very evening an unsettling tale of the young Mr. Fairweather and your late brother, Sir. I don't know how much more Mr. Porter (or his family) is acquainted with Max's and your brother's racketeering during last season, or if you have any ideas what they might have been about. Therefore I beg you to receive us once more as soon as it might be of convenience to you.
I haven't told my wife all the details of Mr. Porter's narration and would rather discuss it with you to try to find a solution. I also recommend to look for Mr. F in order to bring more light into this matter and to convict him to his family...

I am, ever so grateful,
your servant

Clive Osberton, Esq.

And indeed my poor friend and her dearest husband arrived shortly after luncheon. - I took Harriet up to my little parlour and tried to comfort her as much as I could, although I was full of questions myself and more than curious to have more details from his Lordship.
I had to wait until after our very silent dinner and when I was in my dressing-room, having seen Harriet off into bed myself, Lord C begged to enter my room and related what news he knew now from Mr. O.: He must have shortened and censured it extensively; not to spare me the odious and shocking details, but for himself (and how he and I and whoever else will see his departed brother). I can barely retell what he told me, nor put it into words of my own. It is not primarily that I was to be part of some stupid and reckless game. But Frederick and Max have consciously played with many people's lives and souls and thinking of Max doing this to his own sister. Harriet must be more than just desolate to know this and more so, as her parents think her and her husband being part of this intrigue.
Why Jeremiah also knows of it and such a great deal, I cannot fathom and fear I won't find sleep this night. Lord C didn't tell me anything more about what my brother might know but at last said:

We will sort it all out, my dear, and Mr. Osberton and I will seek Mr. Fairweather out an get it explained and out of this world towards his family.

He kissed (!) me goodnight and left, leaving me standing there rooted to the spot. Oh how he took advantage of this situation and just kissed me! I am furious! Yes, I think I am...

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Letter to Harriet

Leyland Manor, July 13th

My dearest Harriet,

since I got your note yestermorning, I have read it a dozen times, and though I am glad you immediately informed me of what had happened I am more confused and concerned than enlightened.
I cannot wait til you may write again and have to ask you for more particulars about what your parents said and what Clive could tell you later.
It all must be a misunderstanding! did you see your brother or is he still in town or wherever? he must know more about it, as he was the one in the first place to be surprised about your marriage and disaproved that your parents did not object you chosing for yourself. My mother told me, it is your sister now to make an even better match - but how could her portion be lost too and your brother's inheritance? You both had it inherited by your mother's uncle and my father always wished he could give all that is his to Jeremiah and we girls could have had such an relation as your mother... Forgive me, I am only kind of quoting my father... - Well, I know that J was very happy about Annabella having a nicely sized dowry. And Patsy, and Violet too, went into their marriages as quite well-portioned brides. I know nothing specific about my marriage contract, but when my father, J and Lord C signed it, I took the opportunity to take a glimpse on what I am worth. It was a very different sum than in Frederick's agreement; I only know that because I heard J scolding my father about him throwing his youngest daughter to the wolves and this remark made me fear Frederick more than ever before. So when that marriage didn't take place and it was talked about me marrying his brother and then you suddenly marrying yourself... how can it effect your family's fortune!?
Your Emy is going it over again and again and through all likely possibilities, as surely you both did as well. I am anxiously awaiting your next letter and hope everything was only a mistake.

Yours,
ever so affectionate,
Emmeline Cartwright

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November 9th, 1762

I am so relieved to have had Becky for company tonight. She sent a missive this morning and invited herself to dinner. Patsy has gone into the country because of one of her children being ill. Violet has just returned from Bath to stay in town for couple of weeks before going back to see to her babe. But she won't be any help as it will be her chief concern to get entertained as much as possible during her stay. She will be out and about anyway. Mama is quite put out of her not bringing her grand-child, but father spoke in a most meaningful voice of her duty to look after me... After the first morning call we received Lord C visited and took me and J for a ride in his new coach. In the park we met his younger brother, who was on horseback and had searched Lord C for quite a while. I thought them to stay at the same house!? What a strange family!

Becky came early and we excused ourselves locking us up in my chamber. She told me of Lord C's general popularity amongst our sex but admitted not liking his pomposity. She too knew of him gambling a great deal. It was comforting to have her at my side and though we could not touch the topic at dinner – mama doesn't know of anything – my family left me in peace of anything concerning the engagement. I sincerely hope father will allow me to end it.

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November 9th, 1762

After I heard at the club of Fred's engagement, I waited for him at home to hear the news from himself. But he didn't show up all night and after breakfast today I decided to ride in the park. There I spotted him, with his fianceé. I had no idea he had father's carriage replaced and the ostentatiousness of his new vehicle suits him perfectly. Ms Porter looked misplaced in it and her unassuming demeanour contrasts with Fred's boastfulness. He introduced her to me again, as if our meeting at the ball on Friday hadn't happened or completely escaped his memory. She blushed at his obliviousness and greeted me in a very reserved manner. As I was on horseback and they in the carriage (accompanied by her brother), I didn't linger on and arranged to have dinner with my brother. I am still waiting for him to come home and will eat alone now. I am not at all in the mood to go out.

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