July 10th, 1763

I should have found an excuse not to have to give my Sunday School class today. I had no sleep at all last night and almost slept in during service.
It was strange to be alone again at Leyland. And having dinner with Lord C without any other companions was nerve-wracking to no end. We talked just a little and only about the most trivial things imaginable. Then he left for his library, telling me not to bother with tea. I went for the Music Room, playing my harp. But my restless fingers couldn’t get to any notable melody. So I decided to go to bed and left the room towards the backstairs. There was Lord C, leaning against the door frame and obviously listening to my musical attempts. He had his eyes closed and didn’t noticed me opening the door. I actually walked into him and in this instant he caught me, both his hands on my hips. First he had his head bent and rested his forehead against mine, then he kissed it and left me standing there… What a horrible night it was. I can’t remember my dreams, but when I finally found some rest it already dawned and it was time to get up for service.
In the small parlour of the charity schools headmistress’s apartment I sat with my young pupils eagerly working on their pockets. – I have no clue why those girls like to do that sort of craft, for I myself would rather learn something more important to earn my future living. But the ladies around here are eager to ‘use’ the supply of girls and boys of poor farmers as their future servants, training them from childhood to fit their needs...
When I came back home I found a letter from Harriet, announcing her departure from *** Park. I wish she had stayed so I could talk with ‘someone’.
Read More

July 9th, 1763

Updated entry:
When I woke today, I couldn't quite persuade myself to get up and start with my usual morning habits. Harriet was gone, visiting her family. When the moment of farewell came, I was mentally frozen. I wished her and Clive a good journey, thanked them for their visit (and they in return thanked us for our hospitality and kindness) - all very formal phrases in completely unformal behaviour. My dearest friend did hold me tight for a considerable amount of time. A thought crossed my mind that Lord C would harrumph at the sight of this, but he didn't and I was glad... - so my mind was then singularly occupied with the fact of their leaving. It was after the coach had long vanished, when I realized that I was still staring after her. Even Lord C was still outside. We went for a walk then, which woke me from my lethargy. Then I was frightened. No time to compose and to rethink all I prepared for such a moment.

But alas! the Miss H. and her mother came to call and took me for a drive.

We had quite a nice visit after all. Though there's not much going on in the village, Miss H's mother always finds some kind of news and via her daughter we had our share of the gossip. It is said that there's an estate to be sold at the border of the county. And though it is only a rumour, Mrs. H seems to know a great deal about them. A rich merchant family from Carlisle wishes to move into the neighbourhood. I conceive that the bespoken estate must be Stackney Hall near the insignificant village Burton Stackney. I have heard about it before when Lord C and Mr O spoke about estate business. It is an mansion owned by the son of an impoverished Cumbrian family. A little more than 500 acres and the merchants will become gentry. But no one is talking about what will happen to the current owner. – When I went back and came to a home without my guests, I felt very lonely and stayed in my room. How will I be able to face him!?
Read More

© The Leyland Manor Diary, AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena