Merry Xmas

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September 3rd, 1763

It is only a matter of one or two days and my Lord's aunt and cousin are arriving at Leyland. I'm most exceedingly terrified! Though he is assuring me of his aunt being 'most amiable' and his cousin 'a very good sort of fellow', it is still not in the least comforting. I haven't been a good wife, nor even a good mistress of this manner. I shall call on Ms B immediately! Heaven knows, I cannot sit still here, while Lord C is away on business and there's nothing for me to do in the house. Mrs Lewis already took care of everything, because, as she put it, 'she knows the ways of Ms Susan very well and how his Lordship's aunt wants her room to be prepared...' - Now there! If that doesn't say everything!?

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September 3rd, 1763

I had a note from my aunt today and could announce her soon arrival to my wife. She is again very afraid to meet members of my family. But I'm sure she will like them. And they will adore her.

I tried to describe aunt Susan to her, but this is difficult to endeavour. And I could only tell her about Frank at the time before I went to Quebec. He is seven years my junior and I have been away for a long time. But if he is still the charming boy I remember, they will become friends.

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September 2nd, 1763

How I regret it to be night again. I so value the time I share with my wife and to separate myself by going to my own chamber is very hard indeed. Having her near me that night at the Inn was the best night I ever had. I could feel her warmth and hear her soft sighs when she finally fell asleep.
Never will I forget this kiss and the first time my wife kissed me back. My hopes to make her falling in love with me have new fuel now and I am convinced the time we spent together will help us both.
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Letter to Harriet

Leyland Manor, September 2nd, 1763
My dearest sister,
it is five days already since we're home. Your Emy was very busy visiting all the neighbours and we had guests on the day we arrived. Ms B greets you very warmly and hopes you are well. We had a charming night with cards and I returned many a visit to my ladies this week. Furthermore we are expecting a family visit. Lord C's aunt and his cousin Рnot the son of the aforesaid aunt Рare coming to Leyland and will stay for a while. He only told me on our journey hereto and sent me into quite some anguish about who they are, how they are like, if they will like me and so on. - But the most important news I have yet deprived you of. When we stayed at the Inn the night we left Wortham, we had to share one bedroom. You can believe your friend couldn't sleep at all. I was quite scared about this situation and wished it to be over. But it all came different in the end. When Lord C entered I had already changed into my night gown and went to bed. Jenna was in the closet next door. He went ínto his and his valet helped him change for the night. It took him quite some time and I think I fell asleep. But it startled me of course when I noticed someone being in the same bed as I. There was no fire and no other light, the room so dark I couldn't see my hand in front of me, but feel my husband next to me. - 'Emmeline, are you still awake?' - 'Yes, my lord. I... am...' - 'Can you turn around, please?' - I hesitated and felt the colour rising in my cheeks, but did as he asked. And he took my hand in his, Harriet, kissed it, drew me closer and kissed my forehead and my lips. Oh dearest Harriet! I never felt anything like this before! I was not afraid any more... He was so very warm and kept holding me close also after wishing me good night. I am so happy about, dearest! I believe it will change things considerably and I'm looking forward to it. I have a very good husband.
Yours affectionately,
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September 1st, 1763

I am really happy to be back home again and am enjoying the peace around the house. We're walking the garden every day now, my husband tightly holding my arm and also holding my hand in his. I never say very much and if I do, it is just answering his polite questions. Most of the time though we are speculating about Frederick. But no word from the London lawyer yet. But it must be even harder for Harriet, who's surrounded by her family and has to face her brother every day.
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August 29th, 1763

Back home. I can't believe how much I missed Leyland. Tonight we have Ms B and some other neighbours at our house. Dinner and cards...

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August 28th, 1763

This morning we left Wortham and I hope we do not have to return so soon. I will miss Harriet, but writing to her will be almost as comforting as having her with me. We had lunch at a small Inn I didn't know and tonight we stay at the usual place. There are many people visiting the lakes this summer and the Inn is very crowded. We had supper at a tiny table near the window and could overlook the main street with all the huzzle-buzzle of the travellers. Lord C is talking to our coachman and I have retired to our room. Tonight we have to share a bedroom, as the Inn has no rooms to spare for idle travellers like us... I'm anxious and very sure not to find a single minute's sleep.

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Letter to Ms Susan Cartwright, Bath

Wortham Hall, August 27th

My dearest Aunt!

Firstly I apologize for detaining you the pleasure of meeting my wife. I vastly regret not to have written for so long. I will, of course, explain everything to you and hope for your forgiveness.

Please, do us the pleasure of coming to Leyland, and furthermore, to bring Frank as well. We are currently staying at my wife's parents house, but are leaving for Leyland tomorrow. It is a wonderful coincidence as I need your advise in a very delicate matter.

I am looking forward to see you again,

and am ever your servant

Fitzwilliam Cartwright

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Letter to Fitzwilliam Cartwright

Bath, August 19th, 1763
My dearest Nephew,
it is very long since you wrote to your old aunt and I am quite impatient to see you again. Nevertheless I am not angry with you, nor will I scold you as I should. Therefore I will come to Leyland and visit you. But more important for your dearest aunt is meeting your wife, whom you have shamelessly held back. You should have come to town to introduce her or invited your relations to your wedding. But you have not. I demand explanations young man, as I am your most affectionate aunt,

Susan Cartwright

PS: It happens to be in my power to bring with me your cousin Frank. He is as impatient as myself.
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August 27th, 1763

My Lord had heard my prayers! We are going home.
Harriet was happy for me and promised to write almost every day. Clive and my dear friend want to move in a little house on her fathers estate to enjoy some privacy. Though her mother is more than happy about Harriet's 'situation', she is worried about Hester and doesn't want to tell her about her sisters pregnancy...
Lord C got a letter. And tomorrow morning we are leaving for Leyland.
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August 26th, 1763

The last two days only supported the growing boredom at my parents house. The days are repeating themselves and neither Lord C nor the Fairweathers can get any more details out of Max. He won't speak to any of them and Harriet is very worried. The accusations of her parents are puzzling us all. Whatever Fred and Max were up to, it is very strange Harriet, Lord C or I could have been involved... They apologized already but we all are still curious about any possible connection. My husband told my father this morning - we were at the breakfast table - that he asked his lawyer in town to investigate into the matter and to see if this infamous lady, at who's house they had found Max, knows more and would talk under the right circumstances.
When we ladies were alone later and I had no letters to answer my mother took the opportunity again to question me about the usual topic...
I want to be home.
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