August 19th, 1763

I cannot believe what my eyes show me! My brother and my husband are becoming friends. Or have become already. Something like that might occur between their sex when on a crusade against another male and perhaps for the virtue of some lady in distress, I believe. The funny thing is, they often stay friends thereafter. It is not like that with ladies. Not very often at least. And I for my part, have witnessed something different:

When I had to endure my first season in town, I had a friend coming from Bath who told me of her best friend and how they love each other so dearly, sharing any secret and would never have come anything between them. Well, until there came that gentleman from Essex; a very good looking fellow with an even more handsome purse and estate. - I never enjoyed a play in theatre better than this spectacle between sister-like ladies of the ton and their husband-hunting-war against each other. Unfortunately he went off to marry someone else entirely and my friend and her temporary enemy swore never to look at a man again - for friendship's sake. It lasted until the next season and they are still unmarried.

Musing about this, a theory is forming in my mind, that women are very strange characters when it comes to men. Jeremiah and Lord C kept me wondering about all this today.

We went for a drive around the estate. It was a nice outing and strangely not in the least awkward for any of us. It felt like we were brothers and sisters enjoying a ride through the park. Being unguarded the first time we set foot on my father's estate, we could discuss the problems at hand more freely. So I got to know that Mr Fairweather sr. already begged Clive's sincere pardon for having accused him of any knowledge or accompli[ce]. And that having brought Max back to his family wasn't the end of my husband's and my brother's involvement in this affair. I wasn't however satisfied in my curiosity about this Sarah, who vouched having been married to Frederick. Lord C only stated that he doubts it and thinks Max is hiding more information than he should...

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August 18th, 1763

Within all this hullabaloo, my father jumped from his chair this morning and read aloud the announcement of the birth of His Majesty's second son, Prince Frederick Augustus. He was born in London at St. James's and is to be christened by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Secker, in September. I didn't hear anymore, as he mumbled forth... - I wonder if this Sarah was married to Frederick and what will now happen to her daughter. And even if they weren't married, he achieved what Lord C and I are millennia away from: a child. I don't know what is bothering me more. I want to go home!

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August 17th, 1763

After Mrs F blurted out the 'whole truth' or rather the unwelcome details of her son's dealings with my brother and his lover, I had a discussion with Clive, Jeremiah, Mr P and Mr F. We are to engage our lawyers in town to pursue the affair and to get proof of a marriage. Both fathers are to go to London and accompanied by Jeremiah, they want to have a secret look on the infamous Sarah.
It is important to act without attracting attention. Fred's lover has not yet made any claims for her daughter and according to Max she is not aware of her lover's fortune and position in society. I daresay, if Fred was married to her, he intended to keep her in the dark about his person and marry Emmeline nonetheless. Mr P is beside himself and had to be calmed by his son, who accuses himself for not having intervened in the whole engagement procedure. My father-in-law now told me, that Emmeline had objected to this engagement from the start, of which I'm glad to know.

She repeatedly told me, she was unsure of his conduct and didn't want to marry him.

If he only had listened to her wishes and acquiesced to bring her back home. Nothing embarrassing like being the fiancée of a demised gentleman would have happened to her. And she might have been happier at Wortham without this marriage being forced upon her. 'Cause nothing else it is (to her). She must think herself entrapped since she escaped my brother. And I'm guilty...

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August 16th, 1763

As if this day had not already been hard enough to endure, this odious woman had to lament on her family's bad fortune loudly in front of my wife. I had hoped to have a private interview with Emmeline tonight and tell her about the possibility of Fredericks marriage to a whore. Nothing else can she be. I know.... knew my brother well enough!
And my dear angel knows of her former fiancé's amours. What will now become of her opinion of him, my family and finally me!? I had the vain hope, she was warming up towards me and regarded me as her companion in life; but now all this is doomed and lost and I'm vexed to no bounds... If this had happened in my house, I had thrown Mrs F out of it with my own hands!

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August 16th, 1763

If one thinks it couldn't be any more complicated it pours down on one. After a strange night of sleeping in my old chamber and having breakfast with my family and Lord C at the same table, I tried in vain to hide behind an instrument and to play myself deaf to all the discussions about scandal and what on earth my husband had to do with it.

The Fairweathers were here as well and without any warning it burst out what no London gossip could make up in decades! - All the eyes turned on me and I knew within that very moment, that first: Harriet knew more than she had told me before and second, that my husband's eyes burned with anguish.

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