January 15th, 1763

It is getting worse! After all!
Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the cruelty of this world. Of mankind. Of family!
I´m seriously devastated.
The more I sincerely beg my father to keep me at home or look for another suitor, the more my mother gets furious. I think I´m going to lose my wits. Nothing can be done. Oh, how very well I know, that nothing can be done to change their minds. Father was gone for five days; in Town I supposed. But he went to Leyland speaking with the new master. And now it is quite certain, that this man had accepted his former brother´s fiancée as his own and will marry me.