May 14th, 1763

Tomorrow is my wedding day...
How delighted my mother was this morning. She had an angel's smile on her lips, my sister Patsy joined her. Both coming to my chamber, wanting to talk to me about something serious.

They left me alone for the rest of the day, but secured all comfort for me and the servants coming and going and leaving treats around me like I'm a child to be spoiled before she gets her tooth pulled out.

I was looking out of my window all day long, rather like a prisoner consoled by my solitude.

Lord C. came the day before. He's with my father all the time in the library, only occasionally joined by my brother. Last night we had a big family dinner and music and cards afterwards. He was very polite and kind I think. I didn't so much as speak a word to him.

Now I am in my room again, it's very late and I have not the slightest idea how to find some sleep. For some reason it seems as if the clock is running towards tomorrow. The time is flowing so fast, that I'm seriously frightened I won't have any left.