May 23rd, 1763

After having ordered me to dine with him, Lord C. preferred not to join me for our first shared dinner. I entered the Little Parlour opposite his study, but the table was only supplied with one set. HE wasn´t even at home.
I had some soup, a bit of mutton and wine and went upstairs to my room. - I don´t know why, but I felt neglected. Am I such a spoiled creature? To miss something only in the moment when it´s not at hand? That this should be my husband? Dear me!
Today we had our breakfast together. The room was very bright and friendly this morning. We have uncommon good weather for this time of year and the part of the country. I should be happy, I presume. As far as my family is concerned, they think me the most fortunate girl ever. The sunny morning was soon tainted by my mothers letter, then my sister Patsy´s and finally, because all good things come in threes, Violet!
'My darling child, how happy you must be. What a wonderful house you have now. I´m delighted to know you shall be so well cared for. Your father sends his regards and hopes you´re well. But of course you´re well. You made the best match of my beloved daughters and you will truly find felicity with your kind Lord.'

- 'Dear sister, I´m sure you´re well and happily settled by now and enjoy your new life as mistress of your own home. If you´ll exercise your inward obedience and keep with self-effacing conversation, I´m sure your husband will find you a most virtuous wife.'

- 'Dearest sister, Sir Tilbrington and I send you our best wishes and we´re sure, you´re going to be a dutiful wife to his Lordship. We expect you two of course in Town this season and I´m looking forward to presenting my charming sister to our circles. By the way, did you get the locket I´ve sent you? And how does the dressing robe become you?'

And so they babbled on and on. Where is my Harriet!?

His Lordship took me out in the phaeton today, for it was sunny and quite warm. His estate is very large and the park very romantically laid out; or so would Harriet think. I do like the small lake and the bridge and the view one has looking at the house. I think I should have shared this with Lord C. It would make him happy to know that I approve of my new home. And it is true. I do. I really do. But I couldn´t mouth a word in his presence. He pointed out this and that and asked questions. I was so impertinent as to answer them all with silence. I guess by the time we came back to the house, he was very disappointed with me and the outing in general. So I went to my room again, crying over my stupid behaviour. And leaving my innocent husband in confusion.