August 20th, 1763

When I watched my husband today I had to think of the first time I met him.
When Frederick sought out my father to ask for my hand in marriage, he had in fact pursued this plan for a long while. When my brother got acquainted with him on a friends house party that last summer, Frederick informed him of being in search of a wife. My brother, who loves me dearly, thought him an adequate fellow to allow him curting me during the season. I stayed in town at my sister's house then and was chaperoned by Patsy and Violet in turns until my parents joined us there. It was my second season and my family was determined to dispose of me in a suitable and promising marriage. Shortly after their arrival, my brother and his family, too, joined us in town and brought with them, their new friend Frederick Cartwright. I remember the introduction well. My family was impressed by his person and all his character according to my brother's account of Lord Cartwright's conduct. I tried to make the best of it and even endeavoured to like him (in the beginning). But as we went about all the season's pleasures together, he aquired a quite different attitude towards my person. When we were less watched, after about two weeks, he turned saucy and I didn't like his conduct. He attempted to conceal his flirting about, but I soon discovered that his character was vain and he was very fond of the admiration of the female sex. I think he did it on purpose and wanted me to know. But in front of my family he was the perfect lover and my father soon accepted his proposal. Mother could not in the least understand my wish to break off the acquaintance and it was but too late when they told me about the upcoming engagement.
It was at a ball, when I was introduced by Lord Frederick to his younger brother, an army officer just returned from Quebec, that the engagement was made public and without my [approval]. After we went home I wanted to speak to my father, but he was stern in his decision and told me it was the best offer I could get and he didn't want and could afford another season. It was a hot argument and my mother, always interrupting, tried to persuade me to be happy about the positive outcome of the season. I had no idea why I should be married off so quickly and without any chance to decide on my own. I had this possibility the season before and though I rejected an offer by a gentleman of our immediate neighbourhood (to the utmost embarrassment of my parents), it hit me like a shock that they wanted to get rid of me. All seemed quite strange.


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