But one shouldn't halloo 'til you're out of the wood!
Oh, why is all coming down on me at once!? Still having Harriet's disturbing words in my head, no clue what to do about it actively and finally about starting to like my own husband, he accomplishes to wreck my nerves even more.
What is the matter with you!? You never confide in me, never let me know what you think.
Please, talk to me, I beg you!
Oh my good Lord, why is it always so hard!? Especially when it only began to become easier!? I'm acting so foolishly and probably hurt him all the time. Even when I want to safe him any trouble and grief. What was I to do? How could I get out of this dilemma?
I really don't like how he always looks at me with his hazelnut eyes. It is very unfair! How shall I keep the thread of my thoughts intact when he distracts me like this!?
So I told him, I was expecting an important letter from my dear friend. [the following I have to write Harriet forthwith!] BECAUSE: he, my ever well informed husband, explained to me, he too, got a letter from our friends, from Mr. O more accurately and he had sent him an answer with the accompanying messenger. Lord C went to get it for me to read:
Cresford Inn, Wortham, July 11th
as a friend I would like to inform you about the late happenings at Wortham Hall in connection to my dear wife's family at -Park. You may wonder why this should effect you and your family, but the matter is a bit complicated and even more delicate.
I came to the knowledge of these circumstances only through a private conversation with your brother-in-law, Mr. Porter. But I have to relate to you the precedent happenings at my wife's former home to explain to you the difficult situation at hand.
When we left your kind hospitality to pay a visit to my family-in-law, we were not greeted with much civility nor respect at our arrival. My father-in-law literally banished us from his grounds and within the same breath accused not only us, but also you, Sir, your kind wife and her family of causing the imminent ruin of his family. As we had no idea what must have happened and had to leave at once (my poor wife thunderstruck, speechless and near bursting into tears), we decided to take lodgings at Cresford Inn and visited the Porters the following day.
Before we left without any more explanations, as they vouched not to have any idea what it was all about and hadn't spoken to the Fairweathers for quite a long time (whoever knows why!?), I nearly ran into your brother-in-law, who took me aside and asked me meet again at the Inn. There he could bring some light into this mess and told me that very evening an unsettling tale of the young Mr. Fairweather and your late brother, Sir. I don't know how much more Mr. Porter (or his family) is acquainted with Max's and your brother's racketeering during last season, or if you have any ideas what they might have been about. Therefore I beg you to receive us once more as soon as it might be of convenience to you.
I haven't told my wife all the details of Mr. Porter's narration and would rather discuss it with you to try to find a solution. I also recommend to look for Mr. F in order to bring more light into this matter and to convict him to his family...
I am, ever so grateful,
Clive Osberton, Esq.
And indeed my poor friend and her dearest husband arrived shortly after luncheon. - I took Harriet up to my little parlour and tried to comfort her as much as I could, although I was full of questions myself and more than curious to have more details from his Lordship.
I had to wait until after our very silent dinner and when I was in my dressing-room, having seen Harriet off into bed myself, Lord C begged to enter my room and related what news he knew now from Mr. O.: He must have shortened and censured it extensively; not to spare me the odious and shocking details, but for himself (and how he and I and whoever else will see his departed brother). I can barely retell what he told me, nor put it into words of my own. It is not primarily that I was to be part of some stupid and reckless game. But Frederick and Max have consciously played with many people's lives and souls and thinking of Max doing this to his own sister. Harriet must be more than just desolate to know this and more so, as her parents think her and her husband being part of this intrigue.
Why Jeremiah also knows of it and such a great deal, I cannot fathom and fear I won't find sleep this night. Lord C didn't tell me anything more about what my brother might know but at last said:
We will sort it all out, my dear, and Mr. Osberton and I will seek Mr. Fairweather out an get it explained and out of this world towards his family.
He kissed (!) me goodnight and left, leaving me standing there rooted to the spot. Oh how he took advantage of this situation and just kissed me! I am furious! Yes, I think I am...