I´m the fool of the family, the black sheep, the rebellious daughter, though I´m trying hard to oblige everyone and everybody. But they´re not to be trifled with, it seems. My mood must be utterly devastating, my manners cold and only bordering to be civil. The ride in the carriage to Leyland was exhausting. Advices, scolding, soothing words, persuasions.
Finally we arrived for dinner, sunset dousing the scenery in treacherously idyllic light. A symmetrical two-storey house, with a hall in it´s centre and leading to a great parlour. I didn´t saw much of the house, which will be mine too, very soon. We had dinner in the Great Dining Chamber on the first floor, climbing a two-flight staircase surveying the Hall with windows out onto the lawn and the drive. The Dining Room, right above the Great Parlour, had wide windows facing the Garden. A single handsome block with a hipped roof, as I found out the next morning, when walking through the garden. Dinner was tedious, my father talking of estate business with Lord C., my mother marvelling at the interior decorations. J intervening with highly intelligent remarks on the ingenious idea of removing the servants hall into the basement; a plan he won´t be able to put in practice at Wortham. While I kept my eyes on my plate, I felt his on me once in a while. I´m absolutely at a loss why he chose to submit to a union, well aware of his bride´s resistance to marry into his family. - But there again, I´m ignorant of the world. As far as I know, his brother was not prodigious enough to gamble away neither estate nor fortune. His losses must have been less than presumed by the ton. Still, His Lordship will be in need of my fortune in any case; to keep up the place, repair the roof, enlarge the property. Whatsoever he might want, he will get it; keeping my pin-money as low as possible. Shall I care? No,indeed, I shan´t. If he´ll be busy spending my money, I shall have my independence.