London, November 30th, 1762

I´m relieved of a duty, no, a destiny, I never desired. It was inevitable, I suppose, that he lost the wicked game he played; sooner or later. It was sooner, however, and I feel free somehow. This pressure within me, the one crushing my lungs, is finally gone. Of course I´m sorry he died in a way, I cannot possibly imagine. But I know, that the life he let, was not a honourable one, that he decided himself to lead it and God had him pay the price. -
We went to church yesterday and also this morning, said prayers for him, so God might have mercy. - HE did have it with me. Thank you, my Lord. Thank you!


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