Emmeline & Lord C at the Tea Table von Emmeline Cartwright auf Polyvore.co...
July 7th, 1763
I should have thought, that I couldn't hide anything from Harriet no matter how hard I tried. She knew immediately that something had happened in the garden. When Lord C left me at the Sweet William bushes, I was completely overwhelmed by his words. All Harriet had predicted was true. But I couldn't make sense of it. I went back to the house and run into my friend. She took me into my sitting room upstairs. There I retold her his words and Harriet smiled knowingly. We went to our rooms to change and met again to go to the dining parlour (since the second day the Osbertons stayed at Leyland, we decided that the dining room...
July 6th, 1763
All of a sudden, Lord C decided to make my life with him more uneasy than before. I was in the garden with Harriet, for once not having to think or talk of this messed up alliance. Harriet was asked to see Mr O in the library and went away, while I kept tending to the flowers we actually wanted to gather for the dinner table. She wasn't gone for a moment when he came around a corner clearing his throat. Though it was very low I startled. He immediately apologised, but still came forward to stand close to me. Too close for my taste anyway..."My lady, don't think me inhospitably, when I tell you that I am a little overstrained...
July 5th, 1763
Harriet is the most wonderful person I can imagine. She was in love with Miss Bentham from the first minute. Though I told her in my letters about her and she pledged she already knew her like a sister, the got along like they've known each other for years. I know Harriet to be someone finding friends very easily, but surely it is also Miss Bentham who cannot but be liked by everyone who meets her.Miss Bentham came to call upon us and was determined to see another lady today as well, but we imprisoned her with us, making the sudden rain a very profitable excuse to keep her with u...
July 4th, 1763
Harriets first week at Leyland is already over and I began to fear her taking leave for Wortham. The wedding at Littledale was a very fine one and impressing to both of us. Harriet had a very small wedding and of mine I won't like to think of. We didn't talk about any of it in the carriage on our way home yesterday. But when we were alone in my room to change and rest a bit, she immediately came upon the topic. Of course the Littledales wanted to show off. But what got on my nerves was the all over satisfaction; one both sides. It reminded me on my parents oh so urgent wish to see me tied to Lord C and gone.Harriet told me...
July 3rd, 1763
Today was the wedding at Littledale and I was more than surprised to see, that Lord C would be the groom's man of honour. I didn't expect this, though I should have had... The wedding breakfast was as fine as anyone could expect it to be, for the Littledales are very very wealthy. I didn't press any information of how much, but I daresay, they have about 15,000 a year...The bride was more than lovely, the young Littledale even seemed to have cried a little. Their respective parents were very moved, her mother really crying as my mother...
July 2nd, 1763
Today we had a picnic in the park. Only the young people. It was a welcome distraction of Mrs. Littledales babbling about the difficulty in finding trustworthy servants, how perplexing and time consuming a task it would be and that she was worrying about her future daughter-in-laws capacity in having her servants' appearance, behaviour and language reflect the image of her family for which she needed years to establish. For my part, I was wondering that this woman, though kind and amiable she was towards us guests, was doing anything else than what the usual genteel lady was supposed to do: arranging flowers, doing fancy...
July 1st, 1763
Today was a day full of activity. The Littledales buzzing like bees to get everything done for the wedding. The bride busy with being nervous, the groom even more of that. Harriet and I stole ourselves away into the park to talk and have a little peace. The other men went riding and some I think fishing... The bride's father priding himself to have his last daughter married so well and the groom's father wishing all the trouble to be over with.
I stayed in my room all morning, not wishing to see anyone, neither Harriet nor her Clive. I am sort of sick of all this love around me. It's not even my friend, but also Lord C's...
A wonderful Christmas to all!
Happy Christmas to all you readers of this diary
and to all who stumbled upon it...!
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July 1st, 1763, morning part 3
Emmeline at her desk by Emmeline Cartwright on Polyvore.co...
June 30th, 1763, night part 1
ThursdayToday we went to attend a ball at a more distant manor house. We drove 2 hours to get to Littledale, a picturesque setting right out of a book.The younger son, Lieutenant Flynn Littledale, a close friend of Lord C's, and just recently back from Quebec, marries his long-time fiancée, a Miss Brightwen. The Littledales are very wealthy people and now, that their son arrived back home (alive), they can afford to give him a generous living.With the lucky man came also his friend Harbottle Shaughnessy; also an old friend of Lord C. I begin to wonder how many people that man knows and where from... - I very well know that...
June 30th, 1763, morning
-What I read last night, while I couldn't sleep.
Dr. Nathaniel Cotton: Visions in Verse for Entertainment of Young Minds (1751)
Real happiness can be found in the home.
Life's journey could best be met through marriage, which, rightly understood, gives to the tender and the good, a paradise below.
The family circle ist the source of comfort; the home and fireside the location and symbol of warmth.
-So what does that tell me about my domestic happiness?
Now I have to go, we're leaving for Littledale now and will stay there until Sunday - thank the Lord, Harriet will be with m...
June 29th, 1763
Lord C and Mr. O all day in his study. What are they talking about? - Harriet in my closet this morning. We were talking about her honeymoon while I was dressing... Somehow I realize, that my marriage is totally different from hers. How I had wished for a love match! I escaped Frederick and got his brother. When I look back now I can't remember to have respired from one fiancé's death to another's proposal. It was all so fast and at the same time the days passed by in slow motion with my hands tied together...
I watched my best friend and her husband today at dinner and I could see in their eyes what they mean to each other....
June 28th, 1763
Our guests arose around 8am today. We had breakfast together at 9, although Lord C already had a light breakfast very early around 7 (Mrs. Lewis told me). He took Mr O out to show him the green house and the trout stream as well as to talk about his own home in Gloucestershire – I think they'll become friends, there's a natural amity between them, that excites Harriet in particular. I only see the opportunity in seeing more of my friend when our husbands are very close...
I took her to the library and then for a walk in the garden. Luncheon was a light repast of bread, cold meats, cider and chocolate. We went to dress at...
June 27th, 1763
Today I confessed to Harriet all the drama about my marriage. And as I was telling her everything anyway, I also enclosed informations about last Friday's night. I couldn't write anything about it before. I was just so confused and also angry... frustrated... ashamed... It's just not working. I can see, that it probably, well, most certainly works with Harriet and Mr O. But it doesn't with HIM and me! I don't feel anything warm or comfortable when he comes near me; a slight tickling in my stomach, my heart beats, but... nothing that Harriet told me would happen within me, that happens within her. - I just can't feel him in...
June 26th, 1763
After church, our guests went back to the house with Lord C and I prepared myself for my Sunday school lesson. Today I played a geographical jigsaw with the girls.
My task in teaching them in handicrafts is seriously not my favourite, '...the intention of [a woman] being taught needlework, knitting and such like is not on account of the intrinsic value of all [she] can do with [her] hands, which is trifling, but to enable [her]... to fill up, in a tolerably agreeable way, some of the many solitary hours [she] must necessarily pass at hom...
June 25th, 1763
After the arrival of Harriet and her husband we had tea in the drawing room and when my dearest friend went to rest a while I joined her in her room. We talked about Bath and their journey to Leyland, which took them almost four days. When it was time for dinner I went to my own chamber, got dressed and presented myself in the drawing room. We had some tea again and Lord C joined us immediately engaging my friends husband in conversation and jokes – amicable as always and very sociable (curiously only in daylight...). We went upstairs, Lord C and Harriet and Mr O and myself – we two leading the way to the Dining Room. We...
June 24th, 1763
I know not how I could pass my days without my friendship towards Miss B. I love her like I should love my sisters. I can't remember when I last looked forward to seeing my sisters. (I rather prefer Violet to Patsy though; Patsy is always so pious and expostulating, like an old maid or annoying teacher...)
I'm looking forward to see Harriet and next week I'll introduce her to Miss B. They might become friends as well. Who couldn't fall for Miss B!?
Tomorrow my dearest Harriet will arrive, her husband towed along. I'm curious to see whether Lord C will like them. It all depends on that, so I will be able to see more of my...
June 23rd, 1763
Today I went to see Miss Bentham and the other ladies at the parsonage.
We talked a great deal of all things not concerning the orphans or the sunday school, then the discussion came upon the need of new books for the circulation library.
Miss Bentham and I sat on a small sofa near the window and we agreed on meeting together tomorrow at Mrs. Higgenbotham's to discuss the books for the girls... Dear Miss B is really an angel. She lives for those little creatures and their welfare. It was ridiculous to see that nothing came about that...
June 22nd, 1763
Mrs. Lewis showed the house to some visitors from Hampshire. The gentleman seemed to be a man of fashion and rejoiced in the simplicity and modernity of our rooms in whites, creams and stone colours and the gilding. Lord C just recently had the saloons supplied with new hangings and rearranged the fine paintings in the drawing room and the hunting pictures in the dining roo...
June 21st, 1763
Jenna made new bouquets of sweet smelling herbs for the coffer chests to keep my gowns fres...
June 20th, 1763
Today I received a letter from Wortham, from my mother in particular, in which she announced exuberantly that Mrs P is with child again. An explanation for her temper before and after my wedding...
Timothy was inoculated against smallpox and rickets like Patsy's and Violet's children and also some servants were inoculated too. Father turned down an application by a manservant who wasn't inoculated. They are seriously worried about the first heir in their house.
Miss Bentham asked me if I were interested in a membership of the local circulation...
June 19th, 1763
Last night was a torture. The humid air wouldn't let anyone find sleep. I finally got up at about 5a.m., got dressed (as lightly as possible) and walked down to the lake. When I came back, I saw Lord C by the window. (I think he didn't like the idea of me walking the park at this hour - but the breeze at the water was refreshing...)
We went to church after I got dressed more properly. Miss Bentham was happy to see me and told me the girls are eager to learn and will be very attentive and obedient pupils to me.
The first lesson was a...
June 18th, 1763
It seems to me that time is passing even slower when waiting for a dear friend to arrive.It is hot, too. The rain last night didn't cool the air in the slightest way. I'm in my room, with opened windows here and in the closet. So I sit between the doors and hope to catch fresh air. I'm not in the mood to write. I neglected the letters this morning as well.Let's hope for a cooler nigh...
June 17th, 1763
Tonight we went to the local assembly, to which we have been invited by Sir Atherfold. I had to promise we would attend. And so we went, although Lord C wasn't that excited to spend his friday night at the assembly rooms drinking tea. The dancing, too, is not very great there. So it was: Some were playing cards and drinking tea, others just walked around talking and flirting. As there wouldn't be a supper later, people came late because they had taken refreshments at home or at the inn down the lane. It was quite an informal event tonight,...
June 16th, 1763
Today I found my other needlework accessories in my closet and I will continue working on that stomacher I started before the wedding. What will become of my current project I know not...Emmelines Closet Wall by Emmeline Cartwrig...
Letter to Harriet
Leyland Manor, June 15th 1763My darling Harriet, how delighted I was receiving your letter. It diverted me exceedingly. You must have great fun. Your sparkling eyes and your dimples when you smile your sweet smile must charm every gentleman in your party at Clarington and in Bath. I heard that all fashionable women are wearing pink. Yes, indeed my dear Harriet, the news were also spreading towards us. What is this about black trimmings in Bath?Summer in the country is very tedious. I can´t recall any summer so hot and I miss the coast. I miss you very much, too. You have to write to me very often in the future, telling me...
Letter from Harriet
'Bath, June 13th, 1763Dearest Emy,your darling Harriet sends you her and her husband's most heartfelt love from Bath. We stay here until the 17th and visit some old acquaintance of Mr. O. After that we will just stop by at home for one or two days and then continue our journey to Leyland. I'm looking forward to see you again my dear. It has been a very long time. We have so much to talk about. I sincerely hope your Lord and Master will take Mr. O to long rides and off to go fishing. I am determined to have as much time as possible with you.Bath is very fashionable this time of year. Something you would expect to see during...
June 10th, 1763
This morning I received very disturbing news from Wortham. In fact, I just got letters from my family. Mother wrote in her eagerness for news about our marriage and how I liked the neighbourhood. Patsy wrote, too, giving me detailed instructions how to become a loyal wife. Even Mrs. P picked herself up and wrote a note accompanying my mother's letter. They were all implying that I must be very happy and, by now, a true married woman.How audacious! They constrained me into a marriage I didn't wanted, thought themselves to be very clever in arranging this coup and now they want all the details, which should be of no interest...
June 9th, 1763
Last night was a success. Lord C told me so this morning. So did Mrs. Lewis, our housekeeper. I am quite satisfied myself. Not that I had time to enjoy the music, but once in a while I could talk to Miss Bentham and Miss Higgenbotham. Unless I wasn't required to fulfil my duties as hostess, I used those moments to retreat to my chamber, freshen up and rest a bit.
I have quite a headache today. Probably an aftermath of last night's exhausting joy and good chee...
June 8th, 1763
Three days we were planning and managing a little musical party at Leyland. It was the first larger gathering we had here since the marriage. Lord C. invited his closest friends of the neighbourhood and the most important families, which is not always the same thing. Our little assembly contained 27 people. The Great Parlour served as the stage for the musicians, the Music Room and our little Parlour, that we use to dine in, were opened as sitting and refreshing rooms. The Great Dining Room upstairs also was opened up for our guests and the people were strolling up and down. I was already exhausted before the evening even...
June 5th, 1763
Miss Bentham, who called today at Leyland after church asked me for my assistance in helping the local sunday school. For I already help at the orphanage supported by charitable ladies of the neighbourhood, I thought it no bad idea to promise her my assisstance.
At dinner I talked to Lord C about it. First, he was almost surprised when I actually spoke to him, for we haven't talked since we were driving back from the ball and also not this morning... or anytime today. I was surprised at myself too, for I ususally am silent and count the minutes when he goes to his study for a half hour and I'm in the drawing room, ringing...
June 4th, 1763
Tonight we went to the Humberdross's little gathering. Lady Humberdross greeted us very warmly in the hall and we saw Sir H in deep conversation with Mr. Walker.
The night started with a meal, enlivened with music. After dinner the company retired to the drawing room, we passed an hour with tea, cards and more music - which enabled me not to listen to Lady H. After the gentlemen joined us the conversation turned to politics. Tired of too much to think about Lady H urged her husband to return to the dining room, which was now empty for the dancing part of the evening. The ball was made up with seven couples dancing, including...
June 2nd, 1763
My needlework is waiting for me to continue. But I knew why I never liked that type of whiling away my time. The progress is not at least fast enough for me. But I'm determined to finish it. Some day.It is me of all people to teach needlework to some of the orphanage girls every Tuesday. At least the music lessons are also a duty I got imposed on myself. The children divert me and little Betty is very gifted at the piano. She learns very fast. Mrs. Higgenbotham told me, that usually the most gifted or educated girls there get a post in one of the gentry's houses. So maybe Betty will one day become a lady's maid for an elderly...
June 1st, 1763
By now I congratulate myself to have learnt all the names of our servants. Lord C. employs 36 servants at Leyland, 21 men and 15 women. His steward hired a new valet for him, because old Mr. Pankhurst retired and his Lordship gave him a pension and free accommodation on his estate. The steward, Mr. Wolstenholme is also very unsatisfied with the clerk-of-the-kitchen, who came half a year back to Leyland. I think his menus and meal times are quite acceptable, but I hear from Jenna, that he's not very kind to the lower servants and treats them very badly which already got him in trouble with our butler Mr. Elliott. Both, Mr....
May 31st, 1763
Today I sat over a new started needlework, a template I got from Mrs. Higgenbotham. I answered her kind call and met her daughter again. Miss Bentham wanted to call later that day and I made my excuses for I had an appointment with his Lordship.My music lesson started at 2 and I continued to play the new piano forte until dinner was ready.We are invited to a Ball at the Humberdross's on the 4th. Lord C. is an old friend of Sir H. He is not to my liking nor is his wife. Her character is much too close to Mrs. P's for my taste and I can't find anything pleasant about her. But I'm looking forward to see Miss B. agai...
May 29th, 1763
My dearest Harriet,how are you? - I miss you very much. How do you do with your new neighbours? Is your husband already planning your summer trip? I can't wait to see you again! We have so much to talk about. How are the improvements going on? Are you satisfied with the architects work? Does the roof still leak?By now I usually find my ways about the house. It is not that large to get lost in it. So far I'm quite well. Lord C. and I get along calmly and I'm very comfortable here, reading, playing the harp and the new piano. But still,...
May 28th, 1763
Back in my closet again. The whole day it seemed. But Jenna got so excited about looking through all my things, that we forgot about the time... And we decided that I have more dresses to like than to dislike... Which means I don't have to change so much or buy new things... Unfortunately I can't occupy my time solely in my closet...
I need something useful to d...
May 27th, 1763
The Little Parlour is always so fresh and sunny in the morning and comfortably warm and glowing golden in the candlelight at night. I can understand why Lord C. likes to have his meals in there than in the formal dining room upstairs.
It seems, he wants to become more familiar with me and tries to persuade me in that way to open up to him. He tries so very hard; it is almost ridiculous to see the effort he invests in me liking him better. It seems so hopeless a case. I think I'm very stubborn and often provoke his temperament. He's passionate and wants me to be his true wife. But I can't see him as my husban...
May 26th, 1763
One of the very practical matters about being newly married, and a very time-absorbing task it is as well, is looking through one's trousseau. Before the marriage had taken place I wasn't that interested in what was done to bring it about. But now, as a married woman - a quite bored married woman - I use my time in finding out what exactly is to be found in my wardrobe. Well, in the country one need not always be fashionably dressed, but I don't want to go about in out-dated clothes. I'm afraid my sister Patsy had her hands quite deep into the decisions of my wedded raiment. Let's see what I can find...After I called for...
May 25th, 1763
Today Mrs. Higgenbotham, her daughter and Ms. Bentham came to pay me the visit they had promised me last sunday after service. I had quite forgotten it, because my head was anywhere but there. But I was happy to have guests who would divert me from brooding. They seemed to be quite charming ladies and it will be nice to have them as neighbours and regular visitors. I am happy to have a new acquaintance. And the two girls, Ms. Higgenbotham and Ms. Bentham are my age, so I think we will become friends in no time. His Lordship seems to approve of them and my acquaintance with them is acceptable, he sai...
May 24th, 1763
Last night he came to my room again. I had heard him on the stairs, then the slightly creaking door. Still, when I felt his weight on the bed, I kept my back turned to him, pretending to be asleep. 'My Lady.' he said, touching my shoulder (bare it was, fool that I am not to cover myself properly!). I tried to look very tired, when he turned me towards him, stroking my chin. It was unbearable feeling his touch. So I opened my eyes, slowly, facing my husband´s tender look resting on my face. It´s true, it made my spine shiver and my fingers tremble and my heart ache. But I do not want him. Especially not so close to me. He...
May 23rd, 1763
After having ordered me to dine with him, Lord C. preferred not to join me for our first shared dinner. I entered the Little Parlour opposite his study, but the table was only supplied with one set. HE wasn´t even at home.
I had some soup, a bit of mutton and wine and went upstairs to my room. - I don´t know why, but I felt neglected. Am I such a spoiled creature? To miss something only in the moment when it´s not at hand? That this should be my husband? Dear me!
Today we had our breakfast together. The room was very bright and friendly this morning. We have uncommon good weather for this time of year and the part of the...
May 22nd, 1763
Today I had to break my fast with my husband. He got tired and annoyed of me keeping to my room and crying and behaving like a little child. Or so he told me. He ordered me to be ready and presentable to take me to church, for it was already a week since our coming to Leyland as husband and wife. One week of marriage. One week of total sorrow. I put on my yellow-striped silk dress with the embroidered fichu around my neck, a black trimmed straw-hat and my black silk neckband with the cross. I had no prayer book with me; it must still be in the boxes in my other room. My cabinet which I haven´t seen until today after church....
Leyland, May 17th, 1763
I went to bed last night at about twelve. The storm hadn´t ceased at all, howling in the trees close to the house. I heard the rain lashing the windows behind the inner shutters and drawn curtains. It was impossible to fall asleep, although I was terribly tired. I lay awake for half an hour, when the door opened and in came his Lordship. He saw me looking at him incredulously and instantly froze on the spot. I heard him taking a deep breath and he came towards the bed stopping at the bedpost, still holding my gaze; or stare. I do not know which. He frowned at it, sat down on the edge of the bed, not leaving my face and reaching...
May 17th, 1763
Today is Lord C's birthday. I was told by Mrs. Lewis, who also informed me, that his Lordship is not celebrating either birthday or name day, but giving some money and food to the servants of Leyland and the poor in the neighbourhood....
Leyland, May 16th, 1763
My mother and Patsy told me, that HE would come to my chamber in our wedding night, sharing the bed with me. And that I should encourage him in every way. Whatever that means! He did not, however, even knock on my door last night. I wasn´t unhappy about it. Why should I want him to sleep next to me. He might snore. Or touch me; and I´m not wearing gloves or long sleeves like in the carriage or at the wedding... I had some breakfast in my room, when Jenna, my new maid, came and dressed me for the last day of our journey to Leyland. It was stormy and I had hopes we might have to stay on the road another night. It scares me...
Wortham, May 15th, 1763
My wedding day.
After the wedding breakfast, I bade my family farewell. My father took aside Lord C.; mother came to the carriage door once more and patted my hand. 'I´m very proud of you, my darling girl.' said she, tears in her eyes. I felt pity for her. For all of them. And I was angry. Unbelievably angry. I will not write to them for some time. 'And write to me as often as you can, my dear. You will need some time to get to used to the house and you will have quite a different schedule as a married woman. Don´t forget to be kind, modest and to keep your voice down. You will make your husband a fine, respectable and proper...
May 14th, 1763
Tomorrow is my wedding day...
How delighted my mother was this morning. She had an angel's smile on her lips, my sister Patsy joined her. Both coming to my chamber, wanting to talk to me about something serious.
They left me alone for the rest of the day, but secured all comfort for me and the servants coming and going and leaving treats around me like I'm a child to be spoiled before she gets her tooth pulled out.
I was looking out of my window all day long, rather like a prisoner consoled by my solitude.
Lord C. came the day before. He's with my father all the time in the library, only occasionally joined by my brother....
Letter to Fitzwilliam Cartwright
Bath, May 11th 1763My dear Nephew,
I am very happy to wish you all the best and happiness to your upcoming marriage. I am sure the young lady will be a good wife to you as you described her virtues to me so expressively. Your cousin is not able to attend. He is a very sensitive boy not to leave his aunt when she is ill. We arrived at our accommodation in Bath last week and already the waters do me good. I thank you for your kind letter. You are a good boy! And you will be a very good husband indeed, as was your father to your mother, may they rest in peace.
It is your legacy now to care for Leyland, our beloved home and its...
May 10th, 1763
I'm seriously getting more and more nervous.Not only Mother and Mrs. P are getting on my nerves and bustling around me all the time, but also J is not himself.Somehow I think they're looking forward to get rid of m...
May 6th, 1763
Mother is asking me every time the post came if I had a letter from Lord C.
She annoys me. Seriously.
I had no letter. Not since the small package arrived weeks ago.
But I do know, that he wrote to my father. So why is Mother so keen on having me getting a letter? I wouldn't know what to answer him anywa...
April 30th, 1763
I visited Mr. Walker today. I waited for half an hour in the Parlour, went in search for him through the Hall, then into the Court and over to the kitchen, only to find out he is still in the Chapel; so I made my way back, found the entryway locked and had to go back through all the rooms again and out onto the main lawn and over to the Chapel. There he was, completely unaware that he had visitors. His staff must have forgotten to inform him about my presence he supposed. Then, ages later and back in the Parlour, his footman found us,...
April 29th, 1763
This morning we had bad timing for our outing. We went riding right after breakfast and intended a picnic at Parker's Lodge. But out of a sudden we were almost drowned by the heavy rain no one had expected. We lost our way, sunk into the deep mud, Mrs. P had - of course - to tumble off her mount and J had problems getting her up again and on the horse. But in the end we safely negotiated through the flood and made our way hom...
April 26th, 1763
The dinner was superb. I can't recall any evening lately when I had so much fun.We also had a practical charade with a curtain, some costumes to cover our evening dresses and to be appropriately dressed in our roles. There were also some card games, J was battling poor Mr. Walker in a chess game and later we all battled at the refreshment table for tea and sweets and some cold meat.Came home late at about eleven thirt...
April 25th, 1763
Our gentlemen had invited some friends for cricket and refreshments this afternoon. They stayed for dinner and we had quite an interesting evening. It was very informal though, but we danced a bit later that night. We were four couples, not counting my parents who refused to join, but watched us from the salon. Mrs. Drawing's daughter Emanuelle played the piano and we had a few very charming country dances.
Tomorrow we are invited for dinner at Mr.Walker's, who is positively lonely so far from the village. He invited half the neighbourhood I presume and his poor housekeeper who is not used to so many visitors will have to...
April 23rd, 1763
Today we three had a donkey race.
Mrs. P's donkey against J's horse Raider and me on my old mare Carolynne.
Mrs. P and I were watching J later leaping a ditch, which he did forbid us to do. So we had to go all the way to the bridge and cross the small stream. Well, Mrs. P would never even dream of doing anything so outrageous, but I was tempted...
Raider did spook Mrs. P's donkey later on our outing and she was tumbling a great deal, then it run off with her, J racing after his wife, who still had problems controlling the beast. It slowed down and coming to a halt eventually and Mrs. P rolled off her donkey. J rescued her...
April 21st, 1763
J harnessed two donkeys, he had lately bought, to a small carriage. He said, that because of their size, they are more suitable for us ladies to handle and ride them. I still prefer the horses, but Mrs. P was never happier and enjoys her outing in the park every sunny morning from now on.
But as these creatures are notoriously obstinate she was a mess after her first riding out this afternoon. She tried to get her donkey across a stream, which it didn't want to obviously and J had to combine his efforts with those of Peter to lead the creature back to the stables.
But Mrs. P is not to be trifled with, she will ride out...
April 20th, 1763
Today I went fishing with Jeremiah. We were talking about our summers before his marriage and tried to catch a carp or a gudgeon. Though I had only a long twig and a line made of horse hair, I got two more fish than my brothe...
April 15th, 1763
One month left.
With a short note accompanying it, I received a little package today with the morning post from Leyland. It was from Lord C. who requested me to wear this necklace formerly owned by his mother. It is a fair and very beautiful golden necklace with a small cross adorned by tiny rubies. I didn´t show it anyone, primarily not to Mrs. P who was in a mood today. The baby is better and also Jeremiah has gotten back to his jovial disposition. What darkens her humour is unfathomable. She was still in a temper after dinner and having to stay in the saloon with her, until the gentlemen joined, us was gallin...
April 13th, 1763
The preparations for the wedding were carried on today. The dressmaker came for some fitting and Mrs. P is her old self again, making good advices as not look better than herself. She is still envious of the lace I´ll wear at the ceremony. It is actually amusing how fretfully she grudges me this piece of fabri...
Letter to Lord C.
Wortham Hall, April 10th, 1763
Dear Sir,
in writing you this, my family thanks you for your sympathy. Let me assure you that Mr. Porter´s son is on the mend and will soon be at his best again. We had additional prayers today at the service.
My father wishes me to tell you that we all are indeed indebted to your kindness and solicitousness and sends you his best wishes.
E....
Leyland Manor, April 4th, 1763
J received a letter from home, urging him and Mrs. P to return, as their infant son had caught cold and was very weak. Mother was desolate and begged my father to go home as well. As sorry I am for the little boy, the more thankful I am for his perfect timing. Lord C. was worried about the baby and helped arranging everything for our departure. We set out this afternoon, reaching the -Inn at ten to stay the nigh...
April 7th, 1763
His Lordship sent a letter to my father, inquiring after the baby´s health and his concern for it´s well-being. Father eyed me while reading it aloud to the others at the breakfast table. 'He´s a very fine young man, Emmeline. He´ll be an amicable, congenial and solicitous husband to you, my child.' - I do not doubt that. I only doubt that I ever could be such a wife for hi...
Wortham Hall, April 6th, 1763
Back home the condition of little Timothy was alarming and the parents distressed. Mrs. P was around and about the nursery the whole night, while J sat gravely in the corridor next to it. The apothecary was here twice already and my father sent for a doctor immediately when we arrived yesterday. The fever has lessend through the night and we all are hopeful the baby will be on the mend soon.
As Mrs. P forbid any noise in the house I coudln´t play the harp or anything. Reading was not possible as father occupied the library in a frantic search for diversion. Mother was in the nursery, being as helpful at the best. So I walked...
Leyland Manor, April 3rd, 1763
I must have been in ebullient a mood, for I have entertained the party at Leyland with playing the harp. Oh so beautifully! 'What a charming, accomplished young lady she is, Sir! A stunning performance, indeed.' - Well, thank you, my Lord. I´m most obliged to your extraordinary good taste. The first words he spoke to me, oh hang it, about me. For he told my father that he liked my playing, not to me; for I think I was present at that time, for I still felt the strings oscillate against my fingertips. There I sat, facing my future husband and my parents, but no-one taking any notice of me really being there. What has happened?...
Leyland Manor, April 2nd, 1763
Today we were shown the garden, the orchard and after luncheon, the park. His Lordship took us around his estate in a new open carriage of his; my brother J marvelling at it´s suspension, the clearance of the axles (whatsoever...) and its´smart bending. Men!
Lord C. was very affable and talked a great deal about the upcoming improvements at the stables and the almost finished enhancement of the green house. There they went afterwards, J excited to be acquainted with all details of the drainage. - Mother and Mrs. P were skirling at every view they found beautiful enough to congratulate his Lordship in having such an estate...
Leyland Manor, April 1st, 1763
I´m the fool of the family, the black sheep, the rebellious daughter, though I´m trying hard to oblige everyone and everybody. But they´re not to be trifled with, it seems. My mood must be utterly devastating, my manners cold and only bordering to be civil. The ride in the carriage to Leyland was exhausting. Advices, scolding, soothing words, persuasions.
Finally we arrived for dinner, sunset dousing the scenery in treacherously idyllic light. A symmetrical two-storey house, with a hall in it´s centre and leading to a great parlour. I didn´t saw much of the house, which will be mine too, very soon. We had dinner in the Great...
March 21st, 1763
Patsy and her swarm of children arrived yesterday for a week to stay at Wortham. Thoughtful as she is, she left her husband behind at Richfield, where he will enjoy a week off. Mrs. P. and Patsy are currently fighting which of their children is the most beautiful, most amiable and most accomplished for it´s age. At the same time they´re praising the other mother´s respective squaller.
The weather is exceptionally warm for this time of year and I use it as an excuse to walk the garden as often as possible. But I´m not allowed to ride or take a drive in the carriage alone, means, with a footman. What do they think I´m doing!?...
London, Novemer 3rd 1762
Finally, I am freed of the Mercury and arrived in London today. My brother's house is empty, but Topper vowed his Master is in town, just staying at different, more remote lodgings... Well, it is Frederick after all.I took my chamber like there haven't been years since I slept here. I am so tired. Nothing remarkable can be said or done right now, but that I am home; at las...
Letter to Harriet Osberton
Wortham Hall, March 18th, 1763
Dearest Harriet,
thank you for your charming letter and the book. I already started reading it and thought at first you are trying to tease me with it. But it turns out, Pamela is quite agreeable and pious, whereas I loath Mr. B and his schemes. He just imprisoned her with this odious housekeeper. I think you like these dramatic stories, Harriet, but I can´t find anything rewarding in reading this, than be more encouraged in my opinion that this marriage can´t be a good one.
How happy I am for you, that your neighbourhood is so pleasing. I so wish to visit you, but won´t be able till after...
March 17th, 1763
This morning I received a gift from my fiancé.
It is a wonderfully ornamented lace veil, he desires me to wear at our wedding. It was his mother´s, I´m to understand. - Mrs. P. was ghastly envious about i...
March 15th, 1763
Today the dressmaker came and mother, Mrs. P. and unfortunately me too, were choosing fabrics, ribbons, buttons, bows, silk-flowers etc. - Mother also purchased Persian yarn for me to embroider some things of my trousseau myself. I think she wants to keep me busy and it works; I don´t think so much of my upcoming marriage, but concentrate on the pattern I try to stitch.
After dinner I have my usual position at the harp or the harpsichord to entertain my family and be occupied. They do not talk very much about it, when I´m present, but Mama is exuberantly happy, as if she is going to be married...
Mrs. P. is busy with her...
March 13th, 1763
Started reading Pamela.
Harriet told me in her letter, that accompanied the package, that it is a bestseller book and she was quite surprised, that I didn´t have it. Nor my father.
I don´t like the story. Not yet. It is very outrageous having this maid pursued by her master.
The service today was tiresome. The vicar was endlessly reporting on female virtues. After church my mother had her share and read me a sermon on exactly the same topic. I was relieved when her friend came to pay a call and I could hide myself at the harpsichor...
March 12th, 1763
I practised all day at the harp.
Violet sent me new sheets from London and Harriet a package from Bristol, containing Samuel Richardson´s 'Pamela'. I don´t know what to think of it. I need to ask her, what she aimed to achieve with i...
March 10th, 1763
My dearest friend Harriet finally sent me word from Clarington. Keen as she was to get away from home, she really seems to be happy. But thank you, my dear, for not troubling me with any remarks of my own marriage-to-be. You were the only one not scolding this wretched chit that I am. There I go, selfish, ignorant Emy. What do I know of the world? - That my friend is far away. And self-absorbed as I am these days, I care not a smidgeon about Mrs. P´s remarks on marital felicity.
'Clarington House, March 6th, 1763
My dearest Emy,
at last I am able to write this letter worthy in length to my best friend.
I wish you to be...
February 15th, 1763
Today I was given a letter to Lord C., accepting his hand. I had to copy and sign it, while my mother was watching me. I didn´t cry, nor did I beg not to have to write it. I just did. My mothers mien was so atrocious, it made my heart flinch and I signed the note, as reads like that:
'Wortham Hall, February 15th, 1763
Dear Sir,
I feel honoured by your proposal and gladly accept it.
My parents reckon mid - May as a proper time to have the wedding date set. Please inform me of your approval,
E.P.
It was done and I´m condemned to a life-sentenc...
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